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Pre-Adolescents
Build a Better Body Image
by: Gretchen Hagemann
It's said that beauty is in the eye of
the beholder. But when the beholder is your 13-year-old daughter who just grew five inches in the last year and whose face
is starting to break out, convincing her she's beautiful is a challenge.
You know the changes your pre-teen and
teenage children go through are perfectly normal. As a parent, your job is to help them understand and adjust to their changing
bodies.
According to Debbi Kuehnel, there are many things you can do to guide your child and make her transition
smoother. She recommends parents be aware of their child's concerns about their bodies as early as age 10. "Parents
need to be involved with their children," she says. "They need to communicate with their kids so they know how
the (kids) are feeling about themselves."
Effective communication with your child includes more that just
talking--you need to share feelings, listen and give feedback as well.
- Listen--Listen to the side comments
your child makes, Debbi says. Children are not going to just walk up to their parents and say "I need to talk to you
about my body image." If you tune into remarks like, "These pants make me look SO fat," or "I wish I
looked like those girls," you can que into the subject with your child.
- Share your feelings--Tell your child
that you remember going through the same changes and you know how scary it can be.
- Give positive feedback--Reassure
your child all the physical changes he/she is experiencing are normal, Debbi says.
It is extremely important
to be supportive of a child who is questioning his/her appearance. Try to accentuate your child's strong physical features
and talents.
Parents also need to be aware of the effect media influence has on a child's perception of the perfect
body. You can counteract the image that thinner is better by pointing out to your child that models are not "your average
Joe." "Explain to your child that it is an illusion to sell you a product, but it is not necessarily what is best
for YOU," Debbi says.
Another important factor for you to consider is your own self image. Where body image
is concerned, being a good role model for your child is vital. "If the (parents) are concerned about always trying
to lose weight or always dieting, kids observe that and pick up those behaviors," Debbi Says. Setting a good example
for your child will also reinforce healthy habits that will last a lifetime.
- Eat Healthy--encourage your child
to snack on fruits and vegetables rather than candy bars and potato chips.
- Exercise--explain to your child that
he/she will feel better overall if he/she exercises. Find creative ways for your child to exercise, like walking the dog.
If your are concerned your child does have a weight problem you need to be very supportive, because, Debbi
says kids who are overweight are often depressed, too.
Although weight can become a lifelong problem, you need
to be careful when assessing what is healthy for your child. "Parents need to be realistic," Debbi Says. "Part
of it is truly hereditary. If the family is short and has a bigger bone structure, they shouldn't expect their child to
be a beanpole."
Again Debbi stresses the importance of talking to your child about body image. Ask him/her
if they feel they have a weight problem. "Talk about it and set goals with your children, not for them," she says.
"A parent's goal should be to have the healthiest kid, not the thinnest."
Reference
Hagemann,
G., (1996). Build a better body image. St. Louis Parent. August.
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