One underlying cause that surprises many women during treatment for an eating disorder
is the relationship an adolescent girl has with her mother.
Young girls suffering with eating disorders often think the physical aspects of their disease call for the most
healing, but in most all instances, girls have to recognize the psychological and emotional damage caused by anorexia or
bulimia, too. It's during this process that they often uncover unexpected root causes of their disease.
"The
mother-daughter relationship can be a complicated one. While relationships with friends and husbands begin in adolescence
and adulthood, a mother's love begins before a child is born, and can create an unrealistic expectation that the connection
between mothers and daughters will be as strong and free from limitations in adulthood as it was in early infancy."
Take an introspective look at this unique relationship
and believes temporary distance from family members allows many adolescent and teenage girls to feel safe exploring the
mother-daughter relationship in ways they haven't been able to during prior treatment for anorexia or bulimia. Working together
to foster a nurturing environment that helps teen girls gain a realistic view of their relationship with their mothers.
In turn, the girl and her mother are better equipped to support each other on their path to recovery.
Exploring
relations with her mother in a residential setting also equips a young woman to place the relationship in a healthier social
context. "In reality, an individual's needs and fears are often informed by society's needs and fears, making this
one of the most maligned of all human relationships. By identifying societal myths commonly found in these relationships,
mothers and daughters can begin to build a stronger foundation and one of recovery for those suffering from eating disorders
and substance abuse.
"Perfect mother" myths that can
create unrealistic standards for behavior that often strain the relationship and trigger feelings of shame:
-- the measure of a perfect mother is a perfect daughter
-- constant nurturing comes naturally to all
mothers
-- mothers are born knowing how to raise children
-- mothers and good daughters
don't get angry
These ideas contribute to mother-blaming when mothers don't match the myth and can create distance
between mothers and daughters.
In the same way, there are "bad mother" myths that can lead mothers and
daughters to feel like they are walking a tightrope where too much or too little love will push them over the edge. Damaging
assumptions include:
-- mothers are inferior to fathers as authority figures
-- only experts
know how to raise children
-- mothers and daughters are bottomless pits of neediness
--
mother-daughter closeness is unhealthy
-- assertion of a woman's power is dangerous or unseemly
The impact of beliefs like these can keep a teenage girl from seeking support from her mother when she needs it, or from
accepting her mother's efforts to build a normal, healthy bond that will help her through adolescence.
Relationship
myths can be particularly perilous for young girls who are struggling with body image issues. Given that a mother is often
the first person to recognize signs and symptoms of an eating disorder, any reluctance to address her concerns in an open
and honest way can impact her daughter's chances of avoiding long term medical complications.
Through residential
treatment and therapy this relationship can be explored and these young girls can come to better understand its affect on
their diseases and in turn help build a foundation for lifelong recovery.
