Children & Eating Disorders

In today's society we are now seeing more children under the age of twelve developing eating disorders. Anorexia nervosa and compulsive eating are the most common among such young children, but there are cases of bulimia being reported. It is estimated that 40% of nine year olds have already dieted and we are beginning to see four and five year olds expressing the need to diet. It's a shame that children so young are being robbed of their childhoods. Why is it that so many young children are becoming obsessed with dieting and their weight? I feel the family environment has a lot to do with it, along with the fact that children are constantly being exposed to the message society gives about the importance of being thin.

Children raised in a dysfunctional family are at a higher risk for developing an eating disorder. In a home where physical or sexual abuse is taking place, the child may turn to an eating disorder to gain a sense of control. If they can't control what is happening to their bodies during the abuse, they can control their food intake or their weight. Self imposed starvation may also be their way of trying to disappear so they no longer have to suffer through the abuse.

Children may also develop eating disorders as a way of dealing with the many emotions that they feel, especially if they are raised in a home that does not allow feelings to be expressed. Children who are compulsive eaters are usually using food to help them deal with feelings of anger, sadness, hurt, loneliness, abandonment, fear and pain. If children are not allowed to express their emotions, they may become emotional eaters. Also, if parents are too involved in their own problems, the child may turn to food for comfort.

Children are at a risk for developing an eating disorder if the parents themselves are to preoccupied with appearance and weight. If the parents are constantly dieting and expressing dislike towards their own bodies, the child will receive the message that appearance is very important. In some families the parents mistake baby fat for actual fat and may try to impose a diet on the child. Not only is that not right, it's cruel. In some families there is a double standard when it comes to boys and girls. The family may encourage the boy to eat so that he can become big and strong, but discourage the girl from having seconds or having dessert so that she will have a petite and slim figure. Once again, the child is given the message that being thin is important. Many mothers give the message to their daughters that the only way they will be happy and find a man, is if they are thin. In today's society it's hard enough for young children to grow to love and accept their bodies because of the importance society places on being thin, but it is much harder if the parents themselves express dissatisfaction for the child's appearance or if they are encouraging weight loss.

Society and the media also send the message that being thin is important and necessary. You just have to turn on the TV Saturday mornings and see just how commercials give them that message. Children are not only told that they need to be wearing the newest in designer clothing, but they must also look perfect in them. Children at a very young age are already striving to attain society's unattainable "ideal" body image. It also doesn't help that their favorite toy is probably Barbie. Barbie herself sets a very bad example to children. They look at her and feel that all women should look like her. I personally feel it's time for Barbie to retire and clear the way for a new era of Barbie dolls that would come in all different shapes, sizes and colors.

If children are going to grow up to love and accept their bodies, they must be raised to love and accept themselves. As parents you need to provide your child with unconditional love. You need to be very encouraging and supportive and help to build their self-esteem. Children need to know that you are proud of them and they need to know that you love them for who they are, not what they look like. Parents should also encourage their children to express their feelings and emotions, and most importantly, parents need to listen to what their children are telling them. You need to be involved in your child's life and you need to spend time with them to provide them with the special attention that they need and crave. However, being overly involved in a child's life and not allowing them privacy could lead a child to become anorexic as a way to gain a sense of control over their life. Not being involved enough could lead a child to feel lonely and abandoned, which could cause a child to turn to food for comfort.

If your child is showing signs of turning to food for comfort, you need to sit down and talk with the child. Find out about their feelings and what is bothering them. You need to deal with the real problems. Criticizing a child about their weight is probably the worst thing that you can do. Parents that push weight loss end up degrading the child, shaming the child and making them feel worthless for being overweight. None of this will encourage the child to lose weight. Instead, it will lead to more feelings of self-hate and cause the child to want to eat more for comfort.

As parents you also need to set a good example for your children, which means that you yourself should be involved in healthy eating patterns. Another thing to remember about children is that they eat when they are hungry and they stop when they are full. Never force a child to eat if they don't want to. Too many families still force children to remain at the table until they have eaten everything on their plate. Doing that could cause the child to hate meal times and develop an unhealthy attitude towards food.

Exercise is also an important part of everyone's life and we need to help our children become involved in physical activity, which means the parents themselves should participate in healthy exercise. Help the child to find activities they enjoy and activities the whole family can enjoy. Whether it be walking, hiking, or some kind of sport, children need to spend more time being active and less time sitting in front of the TV or playing video games. They should be taught that physical activity is important in maintaining a strong and healthy body, but they should not be given the message that exercise is important in maintaining a slim figure.

It's very difficult for a child to grow up with a strong self-esteem in today's society, that is why it's so important that the parents raise their child to believe in themselves. They need to know that they are important and valuable to you. We need to teach children it's what's on the inside of a person that counts, not what's on the outside. They need to be raised to accept people for who they are and not what they look like, and they need to be proud of who they are. If a child can love and accept who they are, they will be less likely to strive to attain society's definition of the "ideal" body image and they will love and accept their own bodies, no matter what size they are. Children need to be praised for their accomplishments, they need special attention, and they especially need your love and affection. So if you haven't done it yet today, be sure to hug your child and tell them that you love them. They really do need to hear and know that.