Relationships are always an energy exchange. To stay feeling our best, we must ask ourselves: Who gives us energy? Who saps it? It’s important to be surrounded by supportive, heart-centered people who make us feel safe and secure. It’s equally important to pinpoint the energy vampires, who, whether they intend to or not, leech our energy.

Positive energy in others can be rejuvenative. For instance, you’re nervous about a job interview, but the minute you meet your prospective boss you relax. He’s so calm and welcoming, you calm down too. Or perhaps you have a good friend around whom you always feel loved. These are energy-givers, those we must gravitate towards.

In contrast, energy vampires exude negative energy that drains. Vampires range from the intentionally malicious ones to those who are oblivious to their effect. Some are overbearing and obnoxious; others are friendly and charming. For example, you’re at a party talking to a perfectly nice person, but suddenly you’re nauseous or weak. Or how about the co-worker who drones on about how she broke up with her boyfriend for the tenth time? Eventually, she feels better, but you’re spent. The bottom line is that on a subtle energy level these people suck you dry.

Exercise: Take an inventory of people in your life who give energy, and people who drain. Specifically identify the energy vampires, and begin to evaluate ones you’d like to limit contact with or eliminate. Plan at least one complete afternoon with people who give off positive energy and avoid drainers. Notice how this beneficially affects your physical and emotional well-being.

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Judith Orloff MD is a board certified psychiatrist, a practicing intuitive, and author of Positive Energy: Ten Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear Into Vibrance, Strength, and Love (Harmony Books.)Guide to Intuitive Healing and Second Sight. She’s an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, has a private practice in Los Angeles, and is an international workshop leader on the interrelationship of medicine, intuition, and spirituality. Her work has been featured on CNN, PBS, A@E and NPR. Dr. Orloff’s website is http://drjudithorloff.com. You can also learn more about her on www.youtube.com/judithorloffmd .

Warning! 4 Relationship Red Flags not to Ignore

If your gut is telling you something just isn’t right in your relationship – then something is probably not right.  But how many of us have at one time or another ignored the “red flags” waving furiously in front of our faces?  Probably a good many of us.  Some “red flags” are more serious than others – and the reality is, people can get blinded by emotions to such a degree that major problems are minimized – only to become big time relationship issues down the line. 

Here are 4 relationship red flags that would probably be best not to ignore:

1. Explosive Anger.  This anger may eventually be directed towards you – and be dangerous.
2. Lies.  How can you develop trust with someone who often doesn’t tell the truth?
3. Belittling and Sarcasm.  The long term effect of this behavior is a whittling down of your self esteem.
4. Alcohol / Substance Abuse.  If your partner admits there’s a problem then perhaps this can be worked on.  But if not, beware as this can be a slippery slope that has the potential to impact everything.